Tsutaetai Omoi Feeling I Want to Tell
by DayDrEaMiNg-child
Summary: [HoroRen] (WARNING: YAOI!) Ren is going to return to China but Horohoro wants to tell him how he feels. This may be his last chance or he'll be silenced forever. Will his feelings be reached? And if so, what will Ren say?


Daydreamer: It's been a while since I made another fic, so here is one. Actually, this has been done for a long time, I was just too lazy to type it. So here it is now!

Disclamer: I don't own anything of SK.

WARNING: This contains yaoi. So if you don't like, don't read.

**TSUTAETAI OMOI (Feeling I Want to Tell)**

Stars illuminated the velvet sky over Funbari Onsen along with the silver moon. The Shaman Fight has ended and Asakura Yoh won the Shaman King title. A party was held at the Onsen to celebrate, everyone being satisfied and content that Yoh won their goal. However, one particular person could not be fully satisfied. A certain ice Ainu shaman of azure hair stared at the twinkling sky with saddened eyes. He sat in a tree in the yard and heaved a long sigh.

"Why couldn't I tell him?" He asked himself quietly as he thought about his secret crush. A Chinese shaman of golden eyes and a one spike hair style, who was also his team mate. When they first met, the Ainu found him to be rather arrogant and annoying, and he always argued with him. But when the time came to save him and his sister from his father, he found the dark past that made that hard shell around him. The softer and more kind side was also revealed that day, changing the blunette's view. And during the fight, a deeper part below the shell was revealed little by little. At first he saw him as a friend, team mate, and rival. But later, his feelings seemed to have changed without knowing, and was building up to become something else. He didn't know what this new feeling was and got mixed up with it. But he didn't tell anyone, especially the one it was to. But he later found out what it was in the most frightening and painful way. When the Chinese sacrifised his life to save his blue haired friend. Thankfully, he was saved but the whole event of possible end made the ice shaman realize what his feelings were. But he couldn't speak of them.

For one, there were too many problems during the fight. There was the goal of becoming Shaman King which everyone had, and it was the purpose of the Fight. Second were enemies. There was the X-Laws, but the biggest enemy of them all was Asakura Hao. He had them occupied a lot.

However, the young teen did make attempts. Whenever they were alone, he would sort out his words in his head and find the right time. But whenever that time came and he's about to say what he wants, the words would get stuck at the back of his throat. Even today, when he got his one chance to be alone with the Chinese, he couldn't say it.

FLASH BACK

Night fell and party has ended. Dishes were cleaned and decorations have been cleaned up, and everyone was tired and asleep in their futons. Horohoro however, just had some left overs in the fridge and decided to head for bed now. He opened his mouth to a wide yawn and stretched his arms. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again, and looked out the window. He blinked a few times and stopped in his tracks. A shadow with a pointed top was casting over the ground from the roof. Raising a brow of question, the teen quietly went out and took a peek at the roof. He smiled when he saw who it was and sat next to him.

"Mind if I join?" The teen asked his gazing friend. He shrugged in answer. His golden cat-like eyes concentrated on the sparkling specks in the sky. The Ainu completely understood him. They both believed that the stars were guides and his friend favored them acceptionally. And though you may be seeing the same stars in China as you do in Japan, he savored the sight no matter where he was. Because to him, they looked different everywhere every night. But on this night, he watched them more than usual. Because the next day in the morning, he will have to leave to return to his home in China.

Horohoro's heart sank at the thought of his crush leaving. He still had to tell him, seeing that this may be his last chance. His fingers fidgeted and his heart's beating sped up. _Ok, I gotta calm down. This might be my last chance so I can't blow it. I have to say it this time. I have to say "Ren, I love you." Yes, I'll say it this time!_

Horohoro turned to Ren with his red tinted cheeks. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth which went dry all of a sudden. His lips shook a bit, and he closed them again. He opens them again with another attempt, and nothing comes out. He continues his attempts for ten minutes while the oblivious Tao Ren kept his eyes on the stars and made a tired sigh.

"I have to leave early tomorrow, so I'm going to bed." Ren stood up and jumped from the roof. Horohoro's eyes went wide and he followed with anger and frustration at himself.

"Yeah, I'll go too."

FLASH BACK END

Horohoro sighed and rested his head on his knees. Since then he couldn't sleep and decided to come out again after a few hours. He hated himself for not being able to take his last chance. Now he has no chance.

"What exactly are you doing out so late, Ainu baka?" Horohoro recognized that voice and insult anywhere. He looked down and Ren stared up at him in suspicion. "Well?" The Chinese asked again and went up the tree next to Horohoro. The Ainu held back blush as he scooched over to give space for Ren.

"Nothin', I just couldn't sleep. That's all. What'd about you? I thought you went to bed."

"Just had a glass of milk" Ren answered and looked up at the stars. Horohoro smiled and nodded. He also looked up, not caring about how late it was. Just having these moments with Ren made nothing matter more. But soon he began to feel scared and nervous again. Rejection, the only thing standing in his way. If only he knew what Ren will say. Was there really any way?

"Hey, Ren? Do you think stars really grant wishes?"

"What?"

"You know how people say that if you wish upon a star, it can come true. Do you think it's true?"

"That's just stupid superstition. If you want something to happen you should do it yourself and not depend on stars."

"Yeah but, what if some wishes don't go that way?"

"Like what?"

"Like...what if you want to tell someone something, but you don't know how that person will react? What if you want to know what that person may say or feel?" Horohoro looked a Ren with a bewildered expression. One that surprised Ren a bit. There was a short silence for the time Ren was thinking, and he spoke again.

"It's still the same. If you really want to know, tell the person. If you want to know how that person may feel about whatever you want to tell, ask. It's not that hard." Ren answered bluntly and that got Horohoro to get a bit upset. The Chinese got off the tree and went inside to go back to sleep. Horohoro followed shortly after, a displeased frown on his face. "It's not that easy." He mumbled under his breath and followed.

Horohoro awoke in his futon, no particular reason, just woke up. Actually, there was a reason. Next to him slept Ren, and there was no one else. The rooms weren't large enough to hold everyone, so they were separated, Ren and Horohoro put in one room obviously. The Ainu turned his head to where Ren slept, and a blush rose to his cheeks. Honestly, a sleeping Ren would be the most cutest thing he's ever seen. But what truly caught his attention were the lips. He slowly moved in, even though his mind was screaming for him to stop. But he couldn't help it, his heart was controlling him more than his mind. And he went closer until their lips touched. He felt his heart lift as he felt Ren's warm and soft lips. But the next thing he knew, two strong hands pushed him so hard, he fell back and almost hit the wall.

"Kisama! What the hell were you planning to do to me!"

"R-Ren...I-I can explain."

"Explain how you were going to rape me!"

"No, I'd never! I...Ren...I..I, I LOVE YOU!"

"...What?"

"Ren, I love you. Earlier when I said I want to tell someone something, I meant you. And I wanted to tell you that I love you. But I was scared. I wanted to know how you feel. Ren, please! I'm sorry for what happened, I really am. But I couldn't help it. I love you and I can't help it!" Ren stood stunned in front of Horohoro who was still sitting on the floor. The Ainu waited with a pounding heart. He stared at Ren with anxious and timid eyes. But Ren's golden eyes went cold and he looked away from the bluenette.

"Well that's too bad because...I don't feel the same. I don't love you." Horohoro eyes widened and his head dropped. The last words echoed in his ears. _What was I thinking? I'm such an idiot._ There was silence and no movement what so ever. But then the two heard everyone else waking up. Ren peered at the clock and turned off the alarm right before it went on. The night was over and it was time for him to leave. He headed for the door without even looking at Horohoro. But the bluenette was glad, since he didn't want to be seen with teary eyes.

"Thanks baka, I didn't get any sleep." With that said, Ren went out the door, leaving Horohoro alone in his tears.

AT THE AIRPORT

Horohoro stared out the window and watched the personal Tao jet fly in the sky. He heaved a heavy sigh and bit down on his lip. Yoh and the others also watched, unaware of their friend's heart tearing into peices. When they couldn't see the jet anymore, they turned to leave.

"Oniichan?" Horohoro looked behind him and a girl of long azure hair stared back at him with concerned aqua eyes.

"What is it, Pilika?"

"You like him, don't you?" Horohoro's smile faded and he held back blush. He could feel his tears trying to well up but he didn't let them. Pilika made a small smile and shrugged.

"I don't know how I know. I just do...Did you tell him?"

"...Yeah."

"What'd he..." The girl trailed off when she saw her brother's darkened expression. His eyes were full of tears but he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve. A stab of guilt shot through Pilika and she wished she didn't say anything. She just somehow sensed the love her brother had for Ren and couldn't help but wonder. _Curiosity killed the cat _She thought glumly and followed her brother silently. He took one last glance out the window.

"I love you, Tao Ren." He whispered in a voice so low, no one else heard him. Or did he?

IN THE JET

Ren suddenly looked up from the book he was reading and looked out the window. Jun was fast asleep next to him, and she never spoke in her sleep. There was no one else there except for Pailong who was talking with Bason. Besides, he swore he heard it _outside_ the window. As impossible as it sounded, he was sure of hearing a very faint voice from outside, though he didn't know what it said. And something tugged at his heart.

"Master Ren, is something wrong?"

"No...It's nothing." Ren shook his head and returned to his book. He decided that it was just down right impossinble...but his mind couldn't go back to reading. He still felt the tugging at his heart. It's been bothering him since the Shaman Fight. He, for some reason, couldn't get rid of. He tried to ignore it. He tried to hide it. He tried to deny it. If only he knew what it was...

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Daydreamer: So how was it? Did you like? Yes, it's a bit sad but that's what I was kinda going for. I just thought I will write something different. Please review with opinions and critisism.


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